Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire; or, Holy Crap, I'm Leaving for Thailand in 24 Hours!

But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.  --Acts 20:24

For I am God, and there is no other... saying, 'My counsel shall stand, and I shall accomplish all I purpose'... I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it.  --Isaiah 46:9-11

Only a couple hours ago I got back from a full summer of working at camp; 24 hours from now and I'll be at the airport in Chicago, ready to fly to Thailand.  The lunacy of moving from one place to another so quickly has been hitting me; and yet, while I'm nervous and scared out of my mind at what may be in store this coming month, I am sure that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be.  There have been few times in my life that I've been able to say that with relative certainty.

This summer has been one of the best I can remember, and though I probably say that every summer, it is without a doubt a truth today.  I feel like God has used me, but in ways far different from what I expected, and that I have learned so much more about him and about myself than I expected I would.  I have seen God work, but in different ways than in the past.  This has not been a summer where I have been a part of summer campers being overwhelmed by emotion, trying to ask me about Jesus through their tears.  It's been one of deepening understandings, of being convinced of the reality of God, of seeing him move and being astounded.  I got to see high-schoolers open up like I never have before, telling their stories and their weaknesses in front of newly-found brothers.  I got to see my brother come to camp and be convicted about his faith in a deeper way than I have ever seen before.  I got to be a part of baptisms of campers and of staff members that wanted to declare that they would live for Christ.  And in my own life, I saw the paradoxical power in vulnerability, the power of story and testimony, and I am walking away from camp having built some of the most honest, affectionate, and (I expect) enduring friendships that I ever have.  I was stretched outside of my comfort zone and challenged to give of myself unconditionally, to understand the need of laying down my pride and being humble, counting others as more important than myself, giving my time and affections and energy to my King, relying on his promises and not my own merit.  I walk into the next season of my life with the understanding that God, and not I, is the one who changes hearts.

And that is one thing that I will need to keep in mind as I move to Thailand for a month of teaching and building relationships.  A camp counselor gets one week with his campers; I will have four with my students.  But not matter how long I have with them, no matter how many conversations I have and how bold I am, no matter how wise I think I am or even how willing, God will be the one changing hearts.  I am merely planting seeds.  "He sleeps and rises day by day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how."  (Mark 4:27)

I am already blessed on this trip.  My support has been covered; my passport came in quickly.  My bank card, which had been subject to fraud in Italy, was replaced and arrived just in time last Friday.  I am traveling with a guide that knows everything there is to know, and am going to teach at a school in Bangkok that is supportive and bathed in prayer.

I am tired after this summer, and there is little time to rest before I leave again, but I know that God will use this time, and I know that when I am weak, then he is strong.  Pray for energy, for courage, for wisdom and knowledge, for physical and spiritual safety; but above all, pray for God to work in these students' hearts, to change us all and to call to himself those whom he wills.  It sounds stuffy, but it is so true, and so freeing.  I cannot save anyone.  Only God can.

I hope to update often from Bangkok; we will see just how cooperative my schedule is.  I am excited for an adventure; I think this will be one of the most exciting and memorable times of my life!  To experience a new culture, as foreign and distant as Thailand's is, has been something I've dreamed about for a long time.  (I am super excited about real Thai food for a month!)  Praying with and working alongside Thai Christians is going to be amazing, and getting to know my students will be beautiful.  And I'm excited to be used of God, to--for the first time!--have the opportunity to make disciples of all nations.

Honestly, I think I'm probably going to get hooked.