As I sit in my room listening to the rain outside, seeing the lightning out the window, I can't help but understand that phrase literally. This has to be one of the heaviest, longest downpours I've ever experienced. Walking home from school tonight, which is literally next-door, my clothes were drenched--even though I was under an umbrella!--from the side-stream of rain and the over-flooded street.
The rain made me think of the last few days, how they have been so like that phrase. I've been in more physical pain this week than any time since January, and there seemed nothing I could do about it. On Monday afternoon, my neck muscles began to tighten, and after four hours of teaching, I was completely unable to move my head without it shooting all kinds of pain through my body. I walked home without eating dinner, too sore to think about sitting at a table over a plate of food and with a headache bad enough that I didn't want to try to wade through conversation. That night I was feverish, waking up halfway through the night shivering uncontrollably, even though I was under a blanket. I grabbed my sweatshirt for the first time since I got off the plane, turned off the air set no lower than 78 degrees Fahrenheit, and huddled in my blanket until I nodded off. The next day was nearly the same, and by the end of the night I wondered if I could make it through another day like it.
Thankfully, that night was the end of it. The pain and tension in my neck was bad enough to make me want to quit--but when it rains, it pours, and I simply didn't have that luxury. We are now over halfway through classes here at Santisuk, and things were beginning to speed up this week, with tests to give, papers to grade, and activities to plan. Today I gave my testimony at a school function, which I had to prepare and polish this week, way more than usual. It seemed like everything was coming at once, and I was beginning to feel overwhelmed.
But it is in these times where, if we are looking hard enough, we can most clearly see the ways that God is providing for us. It was in little things yesterday, but so many that I had to feel blessed! I brought no pain medication to Thailand, but one of my students came to class with some familiar meds that she offered me and I gratefully accepted. After class, my friend Jordan and I went out to dinner, which I made myself do because of my then-gargantuan appetite; and though I still cannot order in Thai and his Thai is pretty limited, he happened to order the exact thing I was hoping for. And when I got back to my apartment, I found a small bag hanging on my door as an early birthday present, filled with baked goods and all kinds of chocolate! I got to sleep early after that and slept for a good 11 hours, feeling refreshed and rested and free pain!
Even in the hard days, God is good to us. Today felt like a blessing all day, simply being well again. I had a few new blessings today, too, like an unexpected free lunch and a chance to answer a student's question about Christian church, not to mention being able to share a testimony about answered prayers from this summer (and way more success than I expected at making 'l' and 'r' sounds today in class!). But we have to realize (for some of us, we have to be reminded again and again) that every day is a gift, and that we as Christians are called to live life to the full, not out of any hollow "YOLO" philosophy, but because Jesus came "that they may have life and have it abundantly" (John 10:10). We are loved and cared for in Christ, lacking nothing, and through him, we know the Father; and these simple truths fill us with joy.
I was encouraged as one of my students today remarked that I was in a good mood. I wish now that I had replied something like, "God is good, and he is King, so of course I'm in a good mood!" But I'm not always as quick to think that way as I ought to be, so I just smiled and said, "Yes, I am!" Maybe someday God will grant that that will be my default answer; but in the meantime, I will have to continue to search for the blessings, remembering not to take them for granted, and remembering every day God's promise to be my Good Shepherd, giving me abundant life!
No comments:
Post a Comment